Monday, August 01, 2016

Think globally act locally

So, I've been trying to come to terms with all my feelings and fears and anxieties in the current situation. (I'm also trying to relearn how to navigate the blog world).  I once took a prescribed medication that sent me off the deep end that I can only describe as being on a bad acid trip. But now, I wake up and the world seems to be that way.
Donald Trump...really? Is that insanity and discourse really happening? It makes me ashamed of being American at times and ashamed of being white at some times...but I can't let him do that to me.
And this obstructionist run Congress...can't allow any decent discourse and arms gun violence to the extreme. It makes me feel physically ill.
I feel no control. So I look inward and realize I can only control how I am, my actions. I can say anything, but actions matter. So, it's the small things I can control. I can be kind in my everyday life. I consider myself to be a kind person...but I can do it more. It's really not hard to do. Simple situations where kindness and understanding make a difference. So I have been ramping that up more. Meeting my public.
It reminds me of a situation I was in years ago. I had had a procedure which left me in a bad state.  The next year I took a job handing out pamphlets for a health club in the city. A few of us were doing it. Turned out it was the summer of Sam and of the blackout in NYC. I went to work the next day.  There was a climate of fear and I fit the profile of his victims. I was in personal emotional turmoil but put myself out there and at the time I told myself I was meeting my public. She was a tough kid. I am proud of her and of coming to the same conclusions now.